Female Health Founders Podcast With Bridie Houlihan
The podcast show brought to you by FemaleHealthFounders.com, that brings you discussions on how to close the gender health gap with innovation, entrepreneurship and collaboration.
Female Health Founders Podcast With Bridie Houlihan
Addressing Addiction in Female Founders: A Conversation with Vicky Midwood
Thank you SO much for joining me again this week.
If you have got any value from the pod at all I would LOVE it if you can rate, review & subscribe.
You can find me on the gram @bridiehoulihan & @femalehealthfounders
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So you’re eager to start a profitable and impactful online business as a women’s health expert, but you’re not sure how to stand out? Well this is the place to start! In my FREE guide, I will show you:
- How to become 'the expert' in your field of women's health!
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It's no secret that going from women’s health expert to entrepreneur is one of the most exciting and impactful business journeys, which is why I started The Wednesday Women’s Healthpreneur newsletter which delivers 1 actionable tip to launch, grow and monetise your women's health knowledge in less than 5 minuets every Wednesday morning. You can sign up here.
Thank you so much for listening & I will see you next week,
Bridie xxx
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Ever wondered why so many female founders struggle with addiction and the pressures of entrepreneurship? Join us as we shed light on this critical issue with our special guest, Vicky Midwood, a health coach and addiction eliminator. Vicky shares her inspiring personal journey and unpacks the often-overlooked underlying causes of addiction, such as stress, negative body image, and societal quick fixes like medication.
Thank you SO much for joining me again this week.
If you have got any value from the pod at all I would LOVE it if you can rate, review & subscribe.
- You can find me on the gram @bridiehoulihan & @femalehealthfounders
- I would LOVE you to join me inside Female Health Founders Members Club. Find out more here.
- You can access your FREE guide on 80 Profitable Niches In Women's Health here.
- Sign up to The Wednesday Women’s Healthpreneur newsletter which delivers 1 actionable tip to launch, grow and monetise your women's health knowledge in less than 5 minuets every Wednesday morning. You can sign up here.
Thank you so much for listening & I will see you next week,
Bridie xxx
welcome everybody to today's episode of female health founders. We are so lucky today because we have vicky with us, health coach and addiction eliminator, and she is here today to talk all about addiction and how it shows up for female founders. Welcome to the show, vicky thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Lovely to be here uh.
Speaker 1:So to our listeners, just to give you some context, we are bright and early dedicated to this show. This morning it is 7am UK time. Vicky, in true health coach form, has a bottle of water. Me, in true founders form, has a litre of coffee. So today's episode is so very apt, because I definitely think I have a coffee addiction. So, vicky, do you want to start by telling our lovely listeners just a bit more about yourself and your business, because I always find that our lovely guests, you know, are so used to saying those 60 second pictures and can say it in a more concise manner yes, so I, basically I help business owners, professionals, to stop turning to food, alcohol, hom homing in on their body to basically manage stress and pressure.
Speaker 1:That's and so we're going to talk about your founding journey today, but can you tell us a bit more about why you started this business?
Speaker 2:I actually got into the health and wellness business because of my own issues with body image and eating and, like most business owners, you morph over time as you change and things change.
Speaker 2:And when I was really, really struggling with my issues around food and then later on also exercise and alcohol, the help that I needed to cover all of that and to really understand what was going on, because I didn't think I was a stupid person why couldn't I sort it out myself, which is something that so many people say to me. I wanted to provide for other people what was not available to me, and there was bits of stuff available in different areas. So there was the food, there was alcohol, there was the body image stuff, there was the head stuff. Nothing was combining all of it and that's why I was struggling for so long, because, as you and I know, we're not separate. We're our complete beings and unless you look at the whole picture, you're always going to struggle because there's always going to be a missing piece somewhere. So that's really why I do my business that's so true.
Speaker 1:And all of these services are so fragmented, aren't they? But actually I am. I assume it's one root cause, or one or two root causes for all, but they're just popping out in different behaviors and in different ways without being able to look at the full.
Speaker 2:You can't then get to the root and that's the problem, because when I kind of introduce myself, I almost feel as if I want to caveat it, because we're turning to food and alcohol as a solution to the underlying cause. As you say, until you get to that underlying cause and it's never just one thing, it's usually multiple things society's kind of brought us up to believe that there's a, there's a pill for an ill, that there's one issue and there's one solution, and that is not how we work. That's why we're struggling, that's why we're getting iller, fatter, sicker, having more people with mental health issues, because they're all going down this road of it's one problem, it's one solution and it's like no no, I've never heard that saying a pill for an ill.
Speaker 1:That really, that really is that kind of okay. I'm outputting this, I input this. Job done, box ticked, problem solved. Um, but it's just almost like whack-a-mole, isn't it?
Speaker 2:well it is. And the thing is I don't know you, but I certainly learned it from from my parents and from kind of school. And you know, oh, you've got a headache, take a painkiller. Yeah, oh, you've got a tummy ache. Oh, just ignore it, don't worry, it will go away. Or I've got some kind of reflux, oh here, take some antacids.
Speaker 2:And it's like let's treat the symptom and then forget about it, instead of going well, well, why have I got it? What's it trying to tell me? What do I need to be noticing? And because nobody knows that that's what we should be doing, which we used to do not that long ago. We've now got ourselves into a right old pickle, and one of the reasons, one of the other reasons that I wanted to do what I do in my business is because I watched both of my parents, who are no longer with us, die from side effects of medication not from the actual thing that they were being medicated for, and the stats on on deaths due to side effects of medication are very hard to get here in the uk, but in the us it's a little bit easier and it is the biggest killer of the biggest shocks me yeah, unfortunately, heart disease.
Speaker 1:You hear, you know you don't hear that it's actually side effects of prescribed medications.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, nobody's going to put those stats out in the UK because they'll be liable, and this is, as we now know, with all of the issues going on around COVID and the jabs and what have you? All of these tablets that we're taking have some kind of a side effect and there's very few medications that we need to take for life that are absolutely essential. So obviously there are some things like type 1 diabetes. Obviously you're going to have to keep on taking your medication, but there's most, most things you do not or you should not. I'm not anti-medication. It has its place, but it allows you to release the symptoms or relieve some symptoms, so that you can then get to root cause and do what you need to do.
Speaker 1:That's their role yeah, this is interesting. This is making me think today because I know in your addiction work you work with consumables, so liquid like what you're like alcohol you drink and food. But also I see this showing up quite a lot in my space. So I work with women's health entrepreneurs who quite often tend to be purpose-driven from a pain point, so they've experienced an injustice in their own health and decide to not let this happen to anybody else.
Speaker 1:But I see a cyclical cycle of being propped up by pain medications because you go on the pain meds and then the cause is never looked for or there's no cure and then we're all just rattling as we're going networking, we all have our bottle of pain meds in our bag and we go for coffee after we have to take our anti-inflammatories because whatever's going on up you know the pressure of going networking, for example it has spiked us and then we're all just completely collapsed, inflamed and popping ibuprofen like it's right and you can kind of understand because it works, yeah, and this is you know, when I said I'm not stupid, when I was utilizing food and alcohol, I didn't know that I was using it to soothe or to to just help me to feel safe and calm and comforted.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that then, but I wouldn't have kept on doing it if it didn't give me some sense of relief. So if it works, we're going to keep doing it because the brain says so it goes. Okay, you're feeling this, this is what you did last time. It worked that again. So nobody sets out to become addicted to anything. We don't sit at school and go oh yeah, I want to be an addict. It creeps upon you and it's that fine line between is this just a habit? And for many people who think they've got an addiction, actually it's not. It is just a habit and it's and it's very quick to to kind of reverse that and for other people it's just a case of okay, let's look at where on the spectrum are we? Because it isn't you know either. Or and this is another thing it's take a pill or all will be fine. Fix the symptoms, you'll be fine. But it's no, take the pill.
Speaker 1:And let's look at the root cause, and so I'm very much an advocate for and utilizing many things and having a like a zoom out, taking a pause, being able to be objective and be like, hey, what's going on. But obviously so often as, particularly as founders, as women's entrepreneurs, we're spinning so many plates and we're like multiple hamsters on the wheel at once and that we don't have that. It's like a keeping going. So this leads nicely on to kind of my next question is how can addiction show up in women's entrepreneurs, leaders, founders, those kind of high outputting, high stress roles that we can see?
Speaker 2:well, there's going to be many ways and obviously it's going to be different for everybody. But I think one of them is when you are looking for the next coffee, when you know that you just I need a biscuit or some sugar, like now, if you are planning your kind of meetups, not in a coffee shop, but actually let's go to a pub so that you can have a drink, and it almost legitimizes you drinking during the daytime. And it's just those subtle things where you may be watching the clock and going, you know, is it okay if? Can I have another? Whatever the thing is, what you know, you know what will other people think? Can I kind of get away with it?
Speaker 2:So also can often come out in anxiety If you're not getting the thing that you want. You just can't put your finger on it, but you're kind of out of sorts because you haven't had your hit, also a sense of irritability, so your patients can definitely be significantly less. And then a biggie, particularly with alcohol, is waking up, feeling anxious. And this is kind of the downside of alcohol, because it does have an effect where it will relax you initially but over time it will increase your anxiety massively that's interesting, it's.
Speaker 1:It's almost like the opposite of positive compounding interest, isn't it? It's like absolutely negative behavioral compounding interest of these things that then creep up on you, yes, okay. So waking up, feeling anxious, feeling like you need the thing or whatever the thing may be, and it might be cravings.
Speaker 2:It might be physical cravings that you kind of go in I've got to have chocolate now, or I, you know I need that coffee now. But it might be more subtle. It may be that you're just getting really frustrated with other people or yourself and you, you kind of go, I just need something to make me feel a bit better and what if it's on sort of in a different phrase, because I see many who use it almost as a reward.
Speaker 1:So if I get this big contract done, I will order a takeaway and get a bottle of wine.
Speaker 2:If I meet this business financial milestone, I'm gonna get drunk at the pub you know, whatever it might be like right award factor feature into this space as well absolutely it does, because we've got and I'm not going to go into the whole dopamine reward system but we all want a reward for doing stuff. That is normal as humans. We need that. It helps us to keep going, it helps us to progress and it's a good thing. But unfortunately, society has trained us to look at food or alcohol as those rewards, and that's an association and that's just a habit. It's not necessarily an addiction, so we could change that very, very easily.
Speaker 2:It's just that, collectively, as a society, this is what we tend to do, and it's what are the foods that you're choosing and how do you feel about them that you then need to look at, because if you know that you're not happy with how alcohol makes you feel, but yet you know you want a reward at the end of the day, try and pick something else that you enjoy that is good for you. You're never going to get away from this because we've got to look at food and drink in a not as a bad guy, it's a good guy. There's nutrition in there, but also it's community, isn't it? It's celebration, religious ceremonies all around, food getting together. It's, it's that whole communal nourishment, both physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. So you can see why we utilize these things, but can we change the actual foods that we're using so that we don't feel quite as out of control or controlled by them? And the answer is yes, we can and are there.
Speaker 1:This makes me think about hustle culture in the UK, just like you're saying about how, culturally you know, food and drink are part of our kind of gatherings and our social structures, but hustle culture, I feel, is as well. You know you've done this reward. You often see it in the kind of boss babe tags and stuff online. You know it's everyone having a glass of wine with their chanel bag and you know this kind of yes, we've made it it's.
Speaker 2:You know the food and alcohol are so linked to that as well, yeah, and they are, and this is why going back to and they work, they do make you feel good. So you know, we're not daft. As the species, we do things that make us feel good because we want to feel good, because when we feel good we're probably going to be nicer people to be around. But it also helps us to want to grow and progress, because we're not meant to be stagnant. So this is why I'm saying we don't want to demonize these things, but you have to look at yourself as an individual.
Speaker 2:Some people I'm going to go to smoking now, because it's another thing that you do with your mouth and with your hands some people can social smoke, and that is part of the whole going out celebrating but they only do it in that scenario. Yet other people are addicted to the cigarette smoking because of a story that they've associated with it and a belief, and that's where the difference comes in. For people who have, or feel they have, a problem, that is kind of getting out of control, because for the majority of people, there is nothing wrong with turning to alcohol and food as a reward, as long as you know, that's all it is yeah, and there's a line and when it starts speaking to you and you need need it in capital letters and.
Speaker 1:But it makes me think and I can almost hear our listeners brains as we're speaking like surely there are certain foods that are more addictive. Like someone's not going to get addicted to cucumber, are they?
Speaker 2:so what we've got to look at is how does food actually get broken down, assimilated and utilized in the body?
Speaker 2:And this is a lot of what I do is helping people to connect to their body and understand the difference between brain and mind, because, if you like, the brain is the house for the mind, but the brain has some specific things that it does that are down to our evolution that we cannot change, but we do need to know what they are and know what we can change and what we can't, and so recognizing how your body behaves.
Speaker 2:So, for example, we have receptors for certain chemicals that come into our system, and this is partly to do with genetics, partly to do with environment. So it depends on what country you were born in, what ethnic you know, what ethnicity you are. All that kind of stuff all affects it, but there are some of us who have something called genetic SNPs that affect how we break down and utilize. Things like caffeine, things like alcohol, certain sugars get broken down in people's bodies differently depending on their gut microbiome, depending on the actual environment that they're in and how many toxins they're breathing on a daily basis. So many factors, and I'm not answering your question straight out. And I'll tell you why because from a neuroscience and a little bit of a geek, I do go very deeply into science.
Speaker 2:This is your place you geek out this is the right place so, looking at the studies out there, there doesn't appear to be a specific substance that in and of itself is addictive. It depends on the body that it's going into and how it gets broken down. Because you see in the news, all the time.
Speaker 2:cheese is addictive sugar, caffeine, red wine, wheat, you know, there's always like a buzz story we, you know, there's always like a buzz story in some people is the bit that they forget to add on because we want to have this one size fits all scenario that we're so used to, because because we like this black or white, and that's the problem, which is why I'm not a black or white, I'm an, and it's not yeah I love it, but the the issue that a lot of people don't necessarily understand is the combination.
Speaker 2:There's a combination of flavors and tastes that are pretty much addictive for the majority of people, and that's when you put together salt and sweet and fat. So think about those things, so what immediately comes to mind? Salt? Sweet, yeah. So pizza, crisps, biscuits, in other words, packaged foods that have multiple ingredients but include something flowery which turns into sugar, usually sugar as well, some kind of salt. Now, food manufacturers know this, and so they get food scientists in, who and the honestly, the money spent on making packaged foods addictive is scary, it's criminal that's.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm getting mad. It's too early to be mad but knowledge.
Speaker 2:When you know this, then you can make a more informed choice. So when people say to me well, if I buy, you know, a packet of biscuits, I've had one and before I know the packet's empty and I'm going, that's nothing to do with your willpower, that is everything to do with how they have been manufactured, down to the thickness, down to the crunch. When you bite into it, down to the mouth, feel how long it stays in your mouth. Right, all of these tiny minute factors have been looked at microscopically to make sure that you keep going back for more until the packet's gone. Because then, back to the reward system, it's kind of like, okay, job done, tick, tick the box, I've eaten them all.
Speaker 2:So, understanding that the more we rely on takeaways and fast food, the more we're going to want takeaways and fast food, because that combo is going to change your gut microbiome, which then changes how your body does deal with those foods. And this is why we can't say is that food addictive and is that it depends. It's a combo and it's depending on on you, your genetic snips, your receptors, what's turned on, what's turned off. But across the board, the big boys, and and this will make you mad as well. If you don't already know it, you may do. But the food scientists and the people who are now kind of the big boys in the world of big food manufacturers used to be in the tobacco industry.
Speaker 2:Okay so they, and so they utilize the same psychology of selling you something that they know is harmful, but packaging it as something that you need to have crikey, crikey, great like I just think, no wonder this is happening more and more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I can. So you mentioned something and I can hear our listeners again. I always like to put myself in their shoes as we're listening along, and you mentioned something which was genetic SNPs. Now, this wasn't like. This is fascinating to me. What can you just explain what that is, if somebody's hearing that for the first time?
Speaker 2:yes, so SNP is a. It's an acronym, it's SNP, it stands for single nucleotide polymorphism, and basically what it means is that you get your genes from your parents right one on each side. When they come together, it's either a plus and a plus, it's a minus and a minus, or it's a plus and a minus. And so if it's, if it's a plus and a minus, is what we call a snip. So it means that they're not. They're not an exact.
Speaker 2:There's going to be some kind of anomaly that's going on with that particular gene, which will then depend on how the receptors work. And genetic science is expanding all of the time. There are so many genes and many people will have not heard of them at all. A lot of them are numbered so that the scientists know what they are, but there's basically there's genes and receptors for everything and and it's whether we've got the ability to actually utilize and break some of these foods down. So, as an example, some people may have heard of um, oxalates and and people not being able to them down, and that's because of a genetic snip. That means that your body doesn't have the ability to make the enzymes that will break those down, whereas my body does.
Speaker 1:So just tracing that back a few steps. Could somebody have a genetic snip if their parents are both alcoholics? Would create a genetic snip for a, not a weakness, but you're more likely to become an addiction or, right, an addictive um, I don't know what the phrase yeah, no, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it could be a genetic snip for that, but does that? Follow through too. So not specifically, and this is where we have to look at the kind of phrase if you're like genes, low to the gun, but environment pulls the trigger, your lifestyle pulls the trigger. Okay, so you can have the genes, but you cannot necessarily be addicted. And there isn't an addiction gene.
Speaker 1:No, okay, there isn't one people saying, oh, they've inherited it, oh, that's because, and you know like is that a complete?
Speaker 2:myth. Well, not yes and no, because think about what we do as families.
Speaker 2:We copy yeah so it's the nature rather than well yeah, if you see on the street a family who are going out, cycling together, walking together then and and you know drinking water, then they are probably picking up the behavioral patterns and habits of putting their health and outdoor activity first, whereas if somebody else is sitting at home with a packet of crisps every night, watching TV, not moving, then that is the way that they've been brought up. So chances are they're probably going to have issues with weight and they may be addicted to fast food because they are changing their gut microbiome. Does that mean that that family's not addicted and that family is? No, it's behavioral often. Okay, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:That being said, yeah, there are certain genes and I'm not going to go into sort of naming them, but there are certain genes, for example, that will definitely lead to you being a more anxious person. So certain snips on certain genes will mean your anxiety is definitely higher, and you may have come across parents who have said, oh my god, yeah, my little one, she was anxious from the day she was born, whereas, you know, this one was like so chilled, and that's down to genetic snips. There are also people who have certain genetic snips that mean they are more likely to be depressed, and depression is often a powerful driver for addiction, as is adhd oh, interesting, interesting.
Speaker 1:This whole nature nurture side of this is from the get-go. Just thinking of a women's health entrepreneur, because that's predominantly who's listening or a female leader to them. When they get to the point of creating their business and becoming a founder you know the the history, the back to where they are now to then put themselves in such a high, intense situation, it can almost like force more to come through and to come out. During that time of creating a business or launching or pivoting or bringing in a new co-founder, these high stress, intense times can almost squeeze it to come out more. I can imagine Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's just been, you know, low level up until then, but then it's sort of a pressure cooker that forces definitely yeah, one of the yeah, without a shadow of a doubt, when we understand what's going on with our hormones and hormones are just chemical messengers and as women, we kind of go hormones. We think of the sex hormones, and even that's a misnomer, because those hormones technically affect your brain. Um, as we now know, and more and more neuroscientists ago I actually do you know what? We should rename all of these hormones as brain hormones, not sex hormones. But once you understand that, stress, cortisol, insulin, all of these chemical messengers, all of these hormones that tell your body what to do or what not to do they are going to affect whether we feel we need a bit of a dopamine here, we need a bit of GABA, which helps you to relax and to calm down, whether we need to increase in some way our blood glucose. And your body is telling you all of this stuff and this is why often it feels like you're not in control. When you're reaching for something, because your body is going to be pushing you, the more stressed you are. If you think about the stress response, most of your listeners will probably know adrenaline, cortisol comes in. Basically, there's glucose released into your bloodstream because when you are stressed, you meant to run or fight, which requires fuel. That means your digestion is dialed right down, because digestion is not important. If you're having to run and fight, but we don't, we're sitting in traffic, we're on a phone call where we're getting frustrated with an email because it's not written in the way that we want, whatever it is. You know all of this stuff in business. Now that is not something we're going to stand and fight or run away from, but the response is the same. So if that glucose is then going into your system and now your system goes, this is too high. We need to bring insulin. Let's drop it back down again. What happens when all of that is going on is that the whole body is now getting out of sync. Different hormonal messages are coming in. Is that the whole body is now getting out of sync. Different hormonal messages are coming in and when cortisol and adrenaline increase, your dopamine and serotonin decrease. So it's this effect is going on. Now sugar and alcohol is also. Sugar is going to increase the dopamine reward hit. You're going to feel better very quickly and that's why we keep on turning to it.
Speaker 2:So the more stress, stress you're under, the more likely you are to reach for a biscuit, to reach for a cake, I haven't got time to cook a proper meal, I'll just grab this. And so, yeah, when you are a business owner and this was, you know, one of my issues, because I went into rehab in 2005 for my alcohol issues telling myself I dealt with my food stuff because, you know, I was 35 by that time. My food issues started when I was 11, 12, and I thought I'd cracked that. But when I was building my business after rehab and the stress started to come in, so did those old patterns of behavior, and that's when I realized, actually, you need to crack this and find out what exactly is going on. So, yeah, the stress response is huge. The more we have to do, the more that affects your gut microbes. The more we eat those readily available foods, the more those microbes are going to shout they want them and that's going to beat willpower any day of the week yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can relate personally.
Speaker 1:I can see it happening in fellow co-founders and for me it's it's food, um, and caffeine. I mean, I can't function without caffeine, um. But it also makes me think about being addicted to kind of hustle and working hard, working late, being busy, like I feel like that also too, can become addictive. It's like you're trying to prove to the world that you are killing it, you're smashing it, you're doing well and and it can mask so many things, just like food and alcohol and smoking can mask things too. But I think this being busy can become addictive as female founders, and can be a masking tool as well.
Speaker 2:It absolutely is, and this is where we've got to recognize that every thought we think, every action we take, there is a biochemical reaction. Something is going on in your body, and so we can become addicted to the struggle. We can become addicted to the fight Because there are a certain combination of chemicals that get released when you are struggling, when you are pushing, when you are anxious, when you are fighting right, and there's a different chemical composition, if you like, that gets released when you are relaxed and happy and joyous and free. Now, if you're a business owner, chances are the hormone concoction that gets released when you're struggling, when you're fighting, when you're worrying, when you're in the future, when you're seeing every possible issue that could potentially go wrong, right, you are getting a hit of that multiple times and it's almost like your own personal heroin, because the more you get the hit of that chemical, the more the survival part of your brain goes okay. So we need this, then to survive. Yeah, it's now you create issues to be worried about oh gosh, I can see that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and it's. You can't turn it off. You can't just enjoy it when everyone's like, oh, turn, turn off your emails for the weekend, and you're like, what well you can, it's a, you could turn the app off. But but internally, internally, right, you don't.
Speaker 2:You can't just get off the train that easily it's a skill, and that's what I help people to discover is nobody teaches us how to do this because, for a start, most people don't know that they even need it. We don't know, you don't know. But when you can't suddenly just go, okay, right, I'm just going to stop thinking about it, because you and I both know if I tell you not to do something, you're going to do it immediately. So as soon as we stop, I'm not going to drink or I'm not going to eat this or I'm not going to think about work, by default you're already thinking about it because you've just said it. So if you're talking about it, even if you're talking about not doing it, it's still front and center of your mind.
Speaker 2:So there's a skill and and it's understanding that we have to learn that skill and it takes practice. Yeah, we get ourselves addicted, if you like, to the, to the chemicals that are for relaxation and for fun and for joy, as opposed to and that's quite a shift. If you think of it like a barometer, you know you've got the chemicals over here that you, your body and your brain think you need and the ones that actually going to make you feel better over here. That's a long way to go.
Speaker 1:So what's the skill set to do that transformation? If our listeners are going OK, my barometer is way over. I'm completely out of whack. I addicted to the hustle. The food, the drink, everything is triggering me, maybe listening to this and I'm really waking up to that. This has gone on for too long. I think we all can slip into this without realizing in our businesses. But maybe this is a wake-up call for lots of people listening and they're thinking, well, what can I do about it? What can they do?
Speaker 2:well, I think it depends. The first thing to ask yourself is how do you feel? Because a clue is how are you feeling about yourself and how you are functioning if you're on that hamster wheel and you feel that you have to stay on it because there's so many people relying on you? What we've got to look at is can you take a little bit of time out to actually look at what you are doing? Because step one, obviously, is awareness. What are you actually doing in your day? And this is where you know I kind of work on the principles of the art of change. So the a stands for awareness and we can't change anything until you know what it is that you're actually doing. Then we've got to look at when are you doing it, where are you doing it and why are you doing it.
Speaker 2:Because a lot of people find that actually, when they see the associations, oh, it's certain people. Oh, I only do this when I'm here, or I tell myself this when I'm in my office, in in this place, but actually when I'm working from home, I tell myself a different story and I do a different behavior. So looking at what is going on for you, that's the first step, and then you have to take responsibility for where you got to. Not blame, but just go okay. Is it stress driven? Is it because I'm trying to pretend to be something that I'm actually not? Is it being driven by people pleasing perfectionism, high expectations of myself? And I look at those as if I'm an observer and, if I can, can I take responsibility that if I've set myself up like this, then I can change it as well?
Speaker 1:That's really powerful. If I put myself here, I can get myself out.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly, and then the T in the acronym of R is then taking timely action and knowing when to ask for help.
Speaker 2:And knowing when to ask for help Because this is the thing that we kind of have, this idea, that status and showing that as women we can do it all somehow is going to get us extra you for not being fully present with your family, for running yourself ragged, for getting illnesses and pretending that you're all okay, because ultimately it's not about what you have and what you've achieved, it's about how you feel and who are you while you're doing it, and so it's getting honest and that's that's a tricky bit.
Speaker 2:It's radical honesty is huge, and I work on on kind of six hours, um, that all of my programs, everything that I do, is built around the six hours, and part of that is the first one is a review, and part of that review is getting radically honest with yourself. And that's a challenge, because a lot of times and I'm saying this because I know it and I'm sure a lot of your listeners will probably kind of see themselves in this as well we don't even want to admit to ourselves that we're not the person that we're putting across, and we certainly don't want to admit that we maybe have got an addiction to something and we're a little bit scared about it because we're telling ourselves look, I'm a strong woman, I'm a business woman, I'm not an idiot. I should be able to sort this out for myself yeah and I'm coping.
Speaker 1:Look at me, look at me, go. And also the. The language addiction has so many I mean not scary negative. Yeah, it does patients, and I think lots of people wouldn't want to be labeled with that. It's and. But actually it's okay, it's, it's just a descriptive word of your behaviors and to to take out all the other kind of social connotations that we associate with that word, right.
Speaker 2:And this is again when you look at it people, some people say to me can you have a good addiction? And ultimately, an addiction is a habit that you keep on repeating and that you feel that if somebody said to you, tomorrow can't have it, you would struggle, you would feel massively uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Okay, just say that sentence again. People need to hear that again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's basically, it's a habit that you've kept on repeating, and if somebody said to you tomorrow you can't do it, you can't have it, you would feel very, very uncomfortable and potentially not be able to function therein lies an answer.
Speaker 1:That's that I'm putting at the top of the show notes. Right, yeah, that's your clues. Your clues is that sentence it is a clue.
Speaker 2:That being said, for the majority of people it's just uncomfortable. Now, nobody dies from uncomfortable, okay, and as a business owner, as a founder, you do uncomfortable a heck of a lot. There are an awful lot of times that you have been in meetings and you've had conversations where you felt blooming uncomfortable, but what did you do? You carried on anyway. You didn't. I hope you did anyway. You didn't just walk away. So we can, and as particularly as women uh, you know we're used to being uncomfortable, probably more so than men, to be fair. We're probably better at being uncomfortable than men are. So, yeah, we can get over it. It's, to what degree is that discomfort? Is it so unbearable that you genuinely can't function?
Speaker 2:And I think the other thing to look at when we talk about addiction being negative one of the other ways I like to ask people to kind of check in with that thought process around it is if you go to the gym every day as part of your morning routine, right, is that an addiction? Right, is that an addiction? Because if you don't do that and your morning now feels out of sorts because you didn't go to the gym, are you addicted to the gym? Well, potentially, yes. Is that a bad thing? Absolutely not, because it's doing you some good. And so this is where even that definition is kind of like, because I know that if I don't exercise on a daily basis, the following day, I'm going to feel it. Yeah, and I know that through experience. If you have a morning routine, you know is it a routine, is a habit, is an addiction? This is the stuff that I help people to look at, because there are very few addictions where people are going to have a massive, massive struggle, and they tend to be the ones where you are physiologically, emotionally, biochemically addicted.
Speaker 2:Tends to be more substance based, but also things like gambling as well, but also things like gambling as well. So when you look at just what is going on, food and drink is something we all have to include in our lives. We don't necessarily have to gamble, you don't necessarily have to do. You know certain other things, but it's how we choose to use these things. Are they at all to soothe you? Are you using them to distract? Are you using them to squash down what you're really feeling and thinking? Are you using them to actually blot out, shut down that overactive chatter in that brain, because you can't switch off from work any other way. So it's back to what are you doing? Why are you doing it? When are you doing it?
Speaker 1:it's almost like for the majority of people, they're not addicted. No, yeah, it's, it's really, and that's why I think it's so important to have somebody like yourself, because you could label yourself an addict to something and it's not, and then you're on more of a negative internal behavioral downfall, like and and. To work with somebody who actually can do that, seeking and analysis of what's going on is so, so important. I think so much now, particularly in women's health and well-being and mental health. We are taught to be kind of self-discovery, self-healers, and we don't need anybody else. Just give me the Instagram post and the digital download and off I go.
Speaker 1:But actually, qualified service providers such as yourself are so integral. We need people like you to go on these journeys, because otherwise we can make it worse. We can make it so much worse, and there's so much misinformation out there as well. It terrifies me in this landscape, which kind of leads me into where can people go? So if they're thinking, okay, I need to look at this so they can contact you, but is there any non-negotiable books to read or something to listen to? I know you have a podcast too. Um, where can they go? I?
Speaker 2:think I mean definitely have a conversation with me for sure. Um, I offer that there's no charge for it at all. We can start to do some of that initial stuff. I would recommend, um, that, yes, you, you listen to my podcast. There's some stuff on there. But also, I think listening to people on other podcasts is super duper helpful, but it's obviously pick and choose who you listen to. So, listen to people who are neuroscientists, who understand how the body and the brain connects. I think that's the first thing to do.
Speaker 1:That's your filter.
Speaker 2:Yes, definitely connects. I think that's the first thing to do actually filter. And yes, definitely, because for the majority of women I work with and and it's such a shame for me to say this, but I was one of them, so I'm not surprised most, most women have no clue how their body actually works in terms of hormones and brain function and how everything connects together. We just don't know because we're not taught it. And so, understanding the basics and recognizing that you are turning to things as a solution to an underlying issue that you're not looking at, and often it's very simple and straightforward to rectify that. So people like Gon mate is somebody that you can definitely listen to. He's been on various podcasts talking about addiction. Um johan harry is another interesting guy to to listen to. He's been interviewed a number of times.
Speaker 2:There are a number of neuroscientists who I recommend who cover addiction, amongst other things, often talking about hormones, menopause and brain health too.
Speaker 2:So Lisa McHoney is is a name that springs to mind definitely worth listening to to help you understand hormones and brain, and so I would say you know, check out people's credentials, but certainly recognize that labeling yourself is never helpful at all.
Speaker 2:Derogatory self-talk and punishment is not going to help you to feel better and it will not get results. It might motivate you short term, but it will not get you long-term results. And I think the other thing is you do have to give yourself a little bit of space for yourself to actually honestly look at this stuff and maybe ask yourself the question where do I want to be in five years time, in 10 years time? Do I still want to be doing what I'm doing now and feeling how I'm feeling? Because that sometimes is, you know, one of the key pointers to going OK. As I said, most people I work with are not addicted. They've just created habits, routines, coping mechanisms and then kind of fallen into the trap of repeating them and with some guidance, it's not as it's not a long process, but it does take effort to change it, but that's lovely to hear that it can be changed.
Speaker 1:That's so hopeful and positive. I'm living proof. Well, I might be the next living proof. Sign me up. I need, I need you closing kind of advice for somebody listening. Um, but I just want to circle back to something that you say, and maybe there's some advice linked to this.
Speaker 1:You were saying about that forward-looking projection. So where do I want to be in the next five years, ten years time? And it just made me think we sit down as female entrepreneurs and leaders and we do our forward planning. Where do we want to be in three years, five years, ten years? And, as you're doing that, almost do a parallel chart. Yeah, well, this is how I feel now. This is how I'm running this business now.
Speaker 1:This is the output on my health, my mental state, my social life. Is this good, is this bad? Now, roll that forward to these big, stretched goals and stretched objectives. Is this sustainable? Is this possible? Am I at what point? Am I going to break? Or do I need to change this now? Like, am I? Am I the tools to take us forward? Almost yeah, I've had this saying and it stuck with me that a B idea with an A leader or an A team will always be a B idea, b business business, and a B idea with an A leader, a team will always be A. So you can level up but you can't do the other way around, and so it's equipping yourself to be the female leader, the female entrepreneur, the founder. But you need to look at yourself now to make sure you can take those projections forward. Is there a closing piece of advice around that for?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think you know. You only have to look at people who are very successful in business and every single one of them puts their health as their top priority. Because you have got to ask yourself the question if I, for some reason, get an illness and I'm out of the picture for a long time, how am I going to feel and how is that going to affect my family and my business? And if you are somebody who's got employees, all of that kind of stuff? So health within a company comes from the leader, without a shadow of a doubt. And and this is where, without your health, what have you got? Because all of your status, if you've got the house and the car, but you but you're not in a physical state to be able to go out and drive it, what? What's the point? You know, and this is where have we all kind of got our priorities wrong, especially as business owners, because when you put health first, everything else is so much easier, so much easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your cogs are working, they are shining, it is running, you are oiled, things come with ease, you've got energy, you are more focused, and if it trickles down from the leader and you put in, you know, the right kind of environment for the people who work for you, then they're going to have hardly any time off sick. They're good because it's just not going to be a factor, because they already know this is what we do, this is how we function and and this is where it you can be that you know that stone with the ripple effect. But it does have to start with you, and that is a case of you deciding to just maybe shift your priorities for a short period of time, and that's the thing. It doesn't have to take that long. And then, when you've got your health and your business running in parallel and you recognize that your business is going to benefit significantly if you put the effort into your health first, it's a win-win yeah, the return on investment on investing in yourself is phenomenal output greater than any grant investment anything.
Speaker 1:Um, okay, that's a fantastic closing message. That was brilliant. Thank you so much. Vicky, a quick one what's your website, your socials? Where can people find you?
Speaker 2:let's signpost them to you yes, so uh, my website is just vickie midwoodcom. I am on linkedin as vicky midwood health coach, facebook vicky midwood and on instagram I am vicky underscore gfc coaching. That's go figure, because health doesn't have to be hard, go figure I love.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, I will tag you on all the socials so everyone can find you with ease and put all that in the show notes. But thank you so much for this what I feel like one of the most profound, important conversations for founders that we've had so far. So thank you so much for your time today. Thank you so much for having me.